day 0 -- Angst rules the roost

My stomach is in knots, turning, rolling. A mixture of pain and wanting to puke. I have not felt this sense of angst in quite awhile. The final prep details always kill me. For whatever reason this time feels worse. I am walking through the Mall and. Feel this sense of disconctedness with everything. People, shops, stuff, and more stuff. I fixate on gear that has a purpose, it helps me to achieve a goal. Most of this stuff is just frivolous junk. My stomach hurts and I am having a hard time focusing, hoping that it was just last nights late night pizza that is tearing me up, masquerading as nerves... Only time will tell, for now I gotta push forward. This is it, day zero and I have stuff to do. Oh, my stomach hurts.